Tinder Tips from DA Professionals
During the month of love, we’ve not only prepared a romantic survey for you, but have asked four of our colleagues, who are communication gurus, to consider the theory of dating on the Internet.
To make the experiment fair, we chose two active users of dating apps and two people who had never opened an account there. For the same purpose, in each pair of experts we kept strict gender equality. Have fun and compare their anonymous tips.
Expert 1 Female/user
- Define your goals. Tinder will bring more benefits and satisfaction to those who clearly understand why they installed it. Do you seek “serious” relationships, one night stands, friends with benefits or something else If one does not know to which port is sailing, no wind is favorable. Different goals mean different profiles and different style of communication.
- Do it well or not at all. Tinder is littered with profiles with just a couple of photos and no description at all. I wonder what do these people hope for? Who is willing to spend time on a cat in the sack? Naturally, users prefer profiles with lots of photos and more information about a person – this way, they will sure have something to talk about.
Three selfies shot in an elevator tell nothing about you. Choose photos from different life situations (work, hobbies, travels) depending on what story you want to tell about yourself. The beauty of Internet dating is that for every party-goer, bore or an artist there is always a “buyer” who is looking for a person just like them. And, please put a T-shirt on while taking pictures.
- Be positive and have fun. I am sure that people who define themselves by what they DO NOT like were one of the reasons why the word “toxic” became the word of year in 2018, according to the Oxford dictionary. “I love Morty, banana cake and people with a sense of humor” sounds much nicer than “I hate Trump, dumplings and those who don’t know how to handle technology.”
In my opinion, creating a profile, surfing the Internet, chatting and dating is great fun and a good way to relax a bit between releases and calls.
Expert 2 Male / user
- Be realistic. The Internet provides plenty of opportunities for cheating. It is easy to pass off as a much better person than you really are. While dating online, people often express other people’s thoughts and ideas as their own, and add flattering pose selfies on their profiles. The chances of being disappointed when you finally meet face-to-face are quite high, so do not expect too much.
- Do not rush to buy a premium account. Consider what is more important to you: additional features or potential disapproval. Having a premium subscription may arouse suspicion in some of your potential dates.
- Remember about communication hygiene. The abundance of stickers is a manifestation of immaturity, so know when to stop. Besides, they are often used by many users, so abandoning this style will make you stand out.
When chatting on the Internet, you have time to think, there is no need to post the first thing that comes to your mind, it is important to stir up your new friend’s interest. Remember, self-sufficient and educated people are always patient, restrained and unobtrusive.
Expert 3 Female / Non-user
- Select a communication channel and provide coverage. Ask yourself a question: “Who am I?” And once you’ve decided to search for a date, look for it in the most suitable sites and use relevant channels. If you hold modern views, probably you should look for your date elsewhere than your mum’s tea club. But if you are guided by the traditional ideas of morality, Grindr and Tinder should be your choice, only if other channels had failed. And remember that Internet is not the only way to get closer to someone, budget airlines and high-speed trains could also be.
- Determine what you want and do not give up. Use statistics for your advantage and increase your chances of finding the perfect match using quantitative sampling:
- If you are looking for a one-night stand, do not spend too much time writing messages, do not be shy or overly sentimental. Write first, swipe to the right everyone who looks attractive to you, don’t try to attract attention with quantity of information, but with catchy content — 1-2 photos, clear messages, quick answers.
- If you are looking for a long-term relationship, describe your interests, tell what you expect from a relationship, and try to get to know your date before your first face-to-face date.
- If you are looking for a friend, mention it, honesty always increases your chances of success, and most importantly saves time.
- Do not be obsessed with the search, live your life. Trust me, people generally steer clear of those who can’t survive without a partner. Develop non-romantic relationships with friends, family, and colleagues. Commit yourself to things important to you: health, career, hobby, apartment renovation, charity or travel. Dating apps should not become the center of your universe. Your low rating on there or no match should not interfere with a smooth flow of your life.
Expert 4 Male / Non-user
- Do not try to sell what you do not have. If you are chasing the number of matches, isn’t it better to install some educational online game or promote some commercial Instagram account? There is no need to describe your flaws in detail, but it is foolish to credit yourself with virtues you do not have. Well, it will be highly unpleasant if someone would comment on the fact.
- Do not be intrusive. Do not write too often even to people you really like. Do not make comments or give advice if you are not asked to do so. Hey, we already have Facebook for this!
- Do not be afraid and do not take risk. Dating on the Internet is safer than taking a walk with somebody you’ve just met at the bar. So why not meet the person you found so nice to talk with? But if you have your doubts about someone, you don’t have to check whether they are just like Hannibal Lecter or Cruella de Vil. Be sure they are.